Stupid things to think about

My mother
Never plants anything in the ground
I, on the other hand, dig holes for plants that die

It's not that I'm unhappy really

It's not that I'm unhappy.
It's that sometimes I'm not ready to be very reasonable.
When you drink your merlot out of a plastic Maggie Simpson cup you got free at KFC, people ought to cut you some slack. There are a million things I could blame my crumby disposition on. #1: mad cow disease (a.k.a. PMS); #2:my genes (and jeans), for the badonkadonk butt; #3: tectonic plates, for positioning us so close to the equator; the government, for (oh that was too easy)... but all of these are lame and truly unblogworthy. What did you say Maggie? Yes, I agree. I'm thirsty too and American Idol is on soon. Even though we know Jordin wins, watching Ryan and Simon bicker like high school girls is so soothing.

You want some cheese with that whine?

I am sitting at my computer drinking merlot, contemplating the future. My utility bill is a whopping $400.00. Before you choke on whatever you're drinking reading this, know that only $80 of it is actually fuel consumption. The rest is all surcharge. I am thinking of Texas and selling my house. I am thinking for the first time seriously of leaving home. I have the Houston school district on my other tab, and I'm debating whether or not to turn in an application. I have Target on another tab. I think I'd be really good at putting all the clothes people try on back on the racks. I could get an employee discount on the $1 aisle. Maybe we can take Billy Bob with us. I'm tired. I'm a little blue. It's getting really hot out. You know anyone who wants a house and property in Papago?

Texas Guilt Trip

Mommy: Why don't we invite one of your classmates for a slumber party?
Peyton: I don't want to invite a classmate.
Mommy: How about another friend then?
Peyton: Clayton was my friend mommy, but then he moved to Texas and I don't have a friend.
Mommy: That's okay, sweetie. Auntie Ton & uncle Rod will send you a ticket to play with Clayton.

Memorial Day

Where's Angelo?

Where's Angelo? The NJHS is ready to do some un-damage in Garapan man!

Okay, there's no Angelo this morning, but there is plenty of garbage. For more photos on how the G.E.S. team tackled the trash monsters, check out the Mallard Pond.

Who I saw at the Taste last night

All the excuses why I didn't say hello

1. EJ - She was walking towards the stage to take Angelo's picture. What was I supposed to do? interrupt her?
2. Angelo - He was looking straight ahead like he was on a mission. What if I distracted him and he lost his concentration?
3. Jane - She was talking to a young girl and they looked deep in happy conversation. It's kind of rude to just butt in.
4. Melissa - I wasn't sure it was really her, and she was enjoying the music. What if it wasn't her?
5. David - He was walking too fast. Wouldn't it look really dumb to just run after him? Wouldn't it have looked kind of psycho?
6. Cinta - She was on stage.

Okay, I was shy. Wednesday for sure.

A build-a-bear! A build-a-bear!

Anna and Brandon: Thanks to you, Peyton's wonderful fairy godparents, Hope can stop worrying that her build-a-bear will get bearnapped while she sleeps. I always wondered what kind random note a six year old would leave, but I guess I'll never find out since Peyton is in build-a-bear heaven now. You know, with the gas prices and CUC rates nowadays, we probably wouldn't have been be able to pay that ransom, so we are forever indebted to you.
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I've been thinking about this weight loss thing a lot lately. 25 pounds. 25 pounds. Sommer weighs about 25 pounds. The sack of rice is 25 pounds. I wonder if Billy Bob weighs 25 pounds. I'd have to lose the equivalent of Billy Bob? I have to actually shed the equivalent of a small human being! I guess this is what it means to really lose yourself...

Hope, don't do it! Don't grow up!

I cannot believe my Hope used to be this small. Remember this Jane? The cast and crew of Annie Jr? I came across the pictures while Hope and I were gathering "tangible evidence" for her Power Point portfolio that will showcase some of her involvement in community events and personal growth. These were really awesome days filled with laughter. My little Molly is turning into a big girl now (sigh), from Annie Jr. to Jr. High (sigh).

I am so glad that she's had many opportunities to explore and grow. I was always wandering somewhere in a book growing up, Hope has done more in her young 11 years than I have at 30-something. What I love about her is her willingness to try just about anything, even things outside her comfort zone. She is the first one always to eat, do and nose dive into anything. I hope that I have helped in some way, but I know it is her bent to be adventurous. Lord, help me to nurture her and be an ever present support as she becomes a woman.

Wasn't Me!

There is a less than tasteful letter circulating through emails, supposedly from PSS Principals. It is both Bondlike and Cowardly Lionish at the same time. The letter, if you got it, will self-destruct in about a week, cannot be saved, printed, or even converted into a PDF file. Very clever huh? Well, not if you have a camera. Anyway, who is this undercover "visionary, inspirational leader" who is being ignored? Who knows?! I have very little respect for anyone who prefers to remain anonymous and thinks they can still affect change. Some may argue that the fear of retribution is preventing this person from speaking up. While fear is a legitimate emotion, bashing people to make yourself feel better is not. In the words of Gandhi "fear has it's use, but cowardice has none."

On the record: many principals, including myself do not endorse this letter and have no knowledge of who wrote it. I am a very hard-headed person, and have probably wasted many principals' meetings locking horns with our COE while my colleagues mutter under their breath "not again Boni - just let it go", but I swear WASN'T ME!

Poor soul, you think that the e-mail is a metaphor something bigger?

Hey, Mr. Cowardly Spy:
Do you want to self-destruct? Deep down inside? You do, don't you?
You're self-destructing in your heart aren't you?
(Do your best Ben Stiller "Night at the Museum" face here)

Hi Alyssa!

I found Alyssa's blog! Actually, Alyssa found mine first, but it's so exciting! It's always nice to meet new people, and when Alyssa taught at GES, she added a lot of energy to the 2nd grade. I was personally sad to see her leave, but I know that she's on her way to changing the world! Even though she isn't on Saipan anymore, I think she needs to get added to the Saipan's Sexiest Female Blogger contest! If you want to learn Japanese, visit her site! Jya mata!



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Bye Bye Ba-donk-a-donk Butt!
Okay Deece, this is really scary, but I will walk the weight-loss-let's-get-healthy walk with you my friend. I contemplated posting some before pictures, but I can't even get my hands to take a picture, let alone open myself up for the oohs and ouches when people see them. I think I will post an "in the middle of the muddle" photo. Here's my plan: excercise (I swear, I promise, I have to make myself do it) at least 3 times a week, low carb diet, and no skipping meals. Here goes....

Ed's Letter

Ed spent his morning writing from his heart. He had decided that he could not sit back any longer and watch as our CNMI's natural beauty and resources get pillaged. Here are some of his words.

Am I the only one who is mad as hell about the 1,500 gallons of sludge dumped in to the sewer line near Saint Jude Church? Probably not, but it angered me so much I felt compelled to write about it at 3:00 a.m. this morning. Someone out there has to know who did this!

The dumping of 1,500 gallons of used oil has nothing to do with our failing economy. Rather, it has everything to do with a thug’s total disrespect for the health and welfare of our island and our people. This is not just an environmental violation; this is a crime against humanity. What is the penalty for dumping 1,500 gallons of used oil? If it is how our justice system normally works, it’ll likely be a petty fine, probation, and a slap on the wrist. At most, our judges will tell them what they did was wrong, yada yada yada, give credit for any jail time served, and voila!, the thug will be out and about, ready to commit other atrocities and crimes against mother nature.

In his letter, which I hope gets publicized soon, he talks about the need for everyone to stand up and not just say something, but do something. Ed is right. Many of us are too complacent. If our CNMI is to change, it will have to be with the collective effort of everyone who has a stake in the environment, economy, education, health and human welfare of our entire community.

Everyone has a responsibility to stand up for what is right. If you are so moved, then it is also time to speak up in the midst of disapproving eyes. Big government and corruption needs to be eradicated. Ed, please print your letter. When you are ready, maybe next Wednesday, we are here to help you find your voice. And, there are many people to stand beside you and create a change. For a copy of his letter, send me an email or leave a comment.

The Scowls Card?

I think now would be an appropriate time to change the name of the gas card, don't you?

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Mommy: Sommer, can you wait in my room for me while I wash my face and brush my teeth?
Sommy: Moooom, is that really necessary?
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OH MY GOSH! (Picture Stacey London's face )I just got booted off a blog! Jeff, you were right, Commonwealth Soundoff is by invitation only. Well, if people can't get in, what' s the use of having them on my roll? AND BY THE WAY? ---HOW RUDE!

MMAC

Dominique: She taught at the college the first year I got back from San Diego. She had a beautiful smile and spirit. My husband was in Okinawa, on his last unaccompanied tour with the Marines. She gave me a lot of encouragement while I worked, went to school and tried to raise a 9 month old son alone. I remember the day she found out. She took off all her jewelry and gave it to Celine, her daughter. She prepared herself from the very start. She was never one to back down. It took a few years, but she never lost her courage or her beauty. I miss you Dominique.
Uncle Charlie: He said he'd be gone for a couple of weeks. Just a concern, need to get a second opinion. He left two messages on my office phone, then he came by to ask if we'd watch Akieva. He only gave her enough snacks for two weeks. He'd be back soon, he said again. He was gone in three days. Tony and I loved him dearly and miss him daily.
Dad: After chemo and treatment, he is okay - the cancer is gone. It is not over though, it is never over. Don't wait for the appointment, cancer doesn't wait for appointments. Always be vigilant.

Let's play oni!

I've been tagged by Deece! I wrote some stuff on Melissa's blog a few days ago, but here it goes. I'll try to be a little more introspective this time. If you get tagged, you'll need to post 7 things about you, little tid-bits for all to read and then tag 7 other people. Send them a link to your blog and get it rolling again!

1. Carboard makes me itchy and gives me welts. I am probably the only person on earth that doesn't get excited when a box comes in the mail.
2. I eat the outside edges of my Kit Kats first, then the top and bottom chocolate covered wafers, and then I take my time savoring the middle sugary wafer last.
3. I collect white ironstone pitchers and Starbucks coffee mugs.
4. I've been married twice (to the same man). We eloped the first time, at the San Diego County Courthouse. We had Japanese for dinner and then Tony went off to his 2nd job as a security guard at the Paladian. The second time, we got married in church on Saipan. We borrowed the Palauan church on Navy Hill. My hair was too big, I had too much eyeshadow on and it was hot, but beautiful.
5. I can rewind my dreams to change the endings. Sometimes when I do that, I end up having nightmares of running backwards and not being able to stop.
6. I wrote a play in High School for the Drama Club. It was a Christmas play and Galvin Guerrero, the principal of MCS was the villain in it. I tried out for plays too, but never made it. I am obsessed with "Talking With" by Jane Martin. It's a series of monologues by women. I tried out for three of the parts in it, and wasn't chosen for any of them. I also wrote a lot of poetry, but during my senior year, someone stole my entire binder of poems and stories.
7. I'm both lactose intolerant and claustrophobic. Subsequently, I can't ever go to the really big sales on island, and if I do, I am a nervous wreck.

I'm tagging Jeff, Tony, Reveler, Saipan Writer, Cinta, Angelo and David!

Kids Eat the Darndest Things! (Oh, don't look so innocent)

Tonight Sommer exclaimed with glee that she had eaten her boogers. Ordinarily I would rush my child to the sink and wash her mouth out. Being completely exhausted and knowing from experience that boogers do not cause intestinal damage to babies, I let it go.

Sommy: Mom, I ate boogers!
Mommy: Whose boogers?
Sommy: I ate my boogers :)
Mommy: Where they good?
Sommy: Yes, they taste like cheese.

Well, that's one thing I can cross off my grocery list!

Boni, by any other name...

1971: A mother gives birth to a girl. She is colicky, but manageable. She names her Yvonne, after a Girl Scout promotional video. The name does not stick, neither does the mother.
1971ish - 1986: Family and friends disregard the name Yvonne. The girl is affectionately called Bonnie. She ambivalently absorbs this change as she does all things that happen in her life. All is well on the island of Saipan. (cue Jaws theme)
1986: Bonnie goes through pre-adolescent angst. All things previously accepted become scrutinized. Nothing is sacred and life is no longer simple. Bonnie, wanting to re-invent herself, but not brave enough to sue The Universe, changes only the spelling of her name and thus, her future.
1986ish - 2007: Boni is FINALLY born.

Okay, so this is Peyton, not me. Peyton is the poster girl for my inner child.

Here's the thing

I know stuff about mothering and I know stuff about teaching, but I know diddly-squat about political maneuvering and even less about immigration. Jeff has been challenging my mindset regarding illegal citizenship schemes. Feeling inadequate makes me want to learn more, so I need your help. Tell me how you feel about granting U.S. citizenship to immigrants who choose to procreate for the sole purpose of obtaining a passport to America. Forget Ron Paul! I got two measly hits off his name. I'm happy with my 12 readers, if they're happy with me.

Mother's Day

Sommisms

Sommy: Mommy! There's chick-ups in me!
Mommy: Where? Where, Sommy? Are they biting?
Sommy: No, they're tickling. (hiccup!)

Because I'm Still Pissed Off

One more thing about GCA's lease extension and rental decrease, because I'm still pissed off. They didn't give them a break because they "alleviate overcrowding in our public schools". They got a break because some parents who have a stake in the rate of tuition don't want to pay higher fees next year. Their kids go to private school and they are protecting their own interests. The $7,500 yearly rate they used to pay for both the sanctuary and school is about what the local government gives certain schools to operate a quarter! And, they now pay only 2% of the fair market value! I wonder what the real fair market value really is, and whether or not the zoning board might be interested in developing that area for the tourist market. Yikes! That would be completely out of the question since only G.E.S. can be sacrificed. After all, what contributions has G.E.S. made to our community? Besides it's students' involvement in community sponsored events, inter-agency collaboration, nationally recognized events, locally sponsored activities, high student performance, building local capacity and providing education to ALL (did you hear me?), ALL students regardless of socio-economic status, race, ethnicity or ability level? Gee, I wonder too where the priority is here.

To be fair, I have nothing against GCA. Pastor Ray married Tony and I and dedicated all of our children. We've known most of the teachers and staff by name, even though we don't attend church there anymore. My brothers went to GCA, my son did too for a short period. GCA in my heart, will always be family. I am grateful for their part in spreading the gospel through their curriculum and church.

My beef is with our legislators. I wish for once, I could hear our government leaders speak about the public school system with the same pride and support as the private schools. Did Governor Fitial even mention Education in his State of the Commonwealth address? I am feeling like we need a change of leadership here. Out with the old and in with the new, not to say that young people are the "new". New ideas, not the same "good ol' boy" mentality, not more wasteful spending, not more Local Hotline Connections and secret handshakes. Election may not be coming up for all our elected officials, but campaign season has already started in my book. I'm taking scrupulous notes guys.

Stole the pic from a new blog I found from Cinta's site. It seemed appropriate. Check it out!

Ron Paul?

1. End birthright citizenship. As long as illegal immigrants know their children born here will be citizens, the incentive to enter the U.S. illegally will remain strong.
   

I didn't say it, Ron Paul did. What a big BLEEP! Yeah, and as long illegal immigrants know that they can build a better life for their family outside of poverty and deprivation, they will continue to come to America, so let's stop enticing them with freedom and opportunity. What happened to E Pluribus Unum? According to Angelo he is the No.1 hit on Technocrati although I don't know why. His platform is typical and predictable, but he does oppose the war. Atleast that's what he says. He's also got YouTube and Flickr and MySpace and other hip and cool sites linked to his campaign site. Hmmm...

Okay, so I did some more reading. Maybe he did say that, and I don't like it, but there's some good stuff too. We can all agree to not really agree until we decide we've had enough. Check out this article in The Nation., "The Wrath of Ron Paul". Make up your own mind.

Leila's Song

Open Mic Night at Porky's

You have to watch Leila sing at Porky's on Saturday night!
Here's a little teaser for you:)

It's not just business, it's personal!

The Zoning Board met two days ago right across the street from Garapan School. I should say, right under our noses. I got an email saying they were meeting, but I didn't really put two and two together. Ironically, the last time the issue of SELLING G.E.S. OUT came about, I was celebrating Education Day with my teachers. Two days ago we were celebrating National Teacher Day. Creepy huh? Oh yes! SELLING G.E.S. OUT, yes, I heard that there were legislators there ( I vote in precinct one and I work in a precinct 3 school district) who were very vocal about there not being any need for a school in the middle of the tourist district. Ahem, the question posed, as I heard it paraphrased was, "Does the school in the Garapan zone really need to be there?" And the answer from our legislators was a resounding "No." There was one particular Congressman who was pretty adamant that G.E.S. would be better used to entice tourists.

Never mind the children. Local children do not need a beautiful environment, the trees at G.E.S. should shade tourists. Our children do not need a large sports field to play on, hey, health education is over-rated. Let's F$@*%# take paradise away from the snotty nosed kids and build a freakin' mall in it's place. YEAH! Let's build a great big mall! OOOOH -OOOOOH! I know! Let's expand the freakin' prostitute strip. OH Shhhhhh Boni, don't say that. Don't get hysterical now, this is not an Education Administration remember, this is an Economy Administration. Okay, I got it. Loud and clear.

In other un-f@#$%^ believable news: GCA gets an extension on their lease and a reduction in their rent that is already almost next to nothing. Six million dollars gets taken away from the public schools, the lease on GCA gets extended and the rental decreased?

Highs and Lows

High: Ed's Magazine, Marianas Pride is coming out soon and I wrote my first mag article!
Low: I lost the cable for my Olympus Verve and I can't post any new pics.

How about you?

Wherever you are Ms. Tmarsel, thank you!

It was Ms. Tmarsel, whose spunk made me think not all teachers were the same (boring). Ms. "T", who did not talk to me like a child, but used the same tone with me she did with her colleagues, and made me feel more mature than my age. When she saw my penchant for brooding, she did not condemn it, but used it to steer me artfully, I thought, towards self-reflection. "A Psychologist Boni, that's what you should be" she said with every smile. She even took me to see Rain Man when it first came out; just me and her, a student and a hero. If only she knew that I never wanted to be a psychologist - that I wanted to be her. The first day I stood in front of my very own classroom, I wished she were there to see it.

In a 2x2 note Ms. Tmarsel wrote to me before I graduated, she said that I was competent, but not competitive. I always felt like I had let her down when she said that, like I had not been who she intended to mold. After all, she didn't explain what she meant to any of us when she slipped these little pieces of paper in our books as special farewell messages. Without clarification, I was forced to find my own meaning. I supposed now, that's exactly what she wanted me to do.

Google tells me that Ms. Tmarsel is somewhere in South Korea with YWAM. She is probably doing the same thing, changing more lives as she transforms herself. It is National Teacher Day and I remember one among the many teachers who have touched my life inextricably, inexpicably. Thank you Ms. Tmarsel.

If you are a teacher you need to know that you'll never know how much you'll impact lives. On behalf of children like me who had teachers like you, thank you too.

Team Billy Bob

That's our Easter Goat Billy Bob Hornton. We haven't been really good with pets or plants, but BB eats tangan-tangan and so I think we're safe this time. I can't grow a darn thing, I even killed aloe vera. I guess you could say I have a grim thumb, get it? We had a rabbit once, but Hope gave it a myocardial infarction from too much huggin' and kissing. We had some dogs too, but in Chalan Piao they seemed to get dognapped and then we'd smell a barbecue going around the village. If we can get him to bark, maybe Angelo will let us enter him in the ugly dog contest. Don't tell Billy Bob.

Pika!

Is it pika hot or maipe hot?
What's the difference? Maipe hot requires blowing, like soba or rice straight from the cooker. Steam rises from it and it makes your nukus (mucus) spill. Pika hot makes babies scream and jump and yank on their mommy's shirts. It also makes nukus spill. I guess I've been derelict in just assuming my kids absorbed what little Chamorro I knew from their umbilical cords. After eating the pika pad thai noodles, Sommer would not eat the maipe apigigi, even after I blew on it. I tried to put a little bit in her mouth and she let out such a holler I was sure the cop eating her barbecue stick would run over to our table. If you want to know more about these foods, and practice discriminating between pika and maipe, visit the Taste of the Marianas at the American Memorial Park. More photos to come.

Who's googling Stanley Torres?

NO! Please...googling people has it's place, but not for background checks and definitely not for I.D. checks. Someone could be googling your life right now and if they get your blog - cool! But, if they get your I.D., you're spit up the creek if you know what I mean. Don't take it for granted that we live on a tiny island in paradise. If you're on the computer right now (look to see if you are), then you could be a victim. It's really as easy as that. Then some fat guy on a dirty couch drinking beer and scratching his hairy chest could be ordering himself a new pair of Ginsu Knives with your credit card. You can get a free identification theft check until May 15th. After that, it's $10 bucks baby. Shoot Tony an email and he'll hook you up!

You Took My Heart Away...

Introducing Sommer Gomez singing her rendition of
The Naked Brothers Band song "Rosalina"

Spidey Tears

I relish the opportunity for all men to explore their sensitive sides, I really do. I'm not trying to discredit crying here, I do a bit of it myself from time to time, but COME ON! The incessant tears and quivering lips on the Incredible Spiderman was too much for this girl. After the fifth time, I buried my head in my husband's shoulder and began to giggle quietly. Lucky for me, it was quiet enough that it sounded like sobbing. Hey, who wants to be the heartless wench at a superhero party? Not me, no siree.

For a few minutes I lost myself in mid-age reflection, trying to put together the pieces of the story and extract the moral, the ethical lessons I was supposed to be gauging from the movie. I envisioned myself driving home with my kids and asking, "so what did you learn?" Then I imagined how I would explain good vs. evil and so on. Then Spidey started crying again.

On the way home:
"Did you guys like the movie?"
"Uh-huh, it was cool"
"Yeah, it was"

S CCESS: What's Missing?

YES!
Come help us.
Everyone's perspective counts, everyone has a story to tell.
Something big is happening and it will only take, like Margaret Mead said,
"a small group of committed citizens" to change the world.
(Yeah, like you, I sometimes think I'm more "certifiable" than committed)
What do you have to lose? Step out of your comfort zone with us.
It's like singing karaoke and everyone in the bar stops talking.
You can feel them listening, but you're having so much fun being you - who cares?!
Everyday someone will search Saipan.
Come help us show them who we are.

Sunday Outings

Tony, Sommer and Peyton braving the heat

Just give them the cotton candy and no one will get hurt


We got included in a group picture! Thanks Cinta!

Peyton and mommy

The Gomez girls: Ha'ani, Kalani and Leilani

Mexican Jumping Beans

Quit jumping on the bed girls
Quit jumping on the bed
Girls, stop jumping now!

Mommy, we're not - we're jumping off the bed!