Today I Am Seven and I'm Clever As Clever, I Think I'll Stay Seven Forever and Ever

Dear Sommer,

The day you were born I was sitting in a Principal's Meeting, counting my contractions on a napkin in the Aqua Resort.  I thought you'd take your time, like your brother and sisters, so I wasn't too worried, but everyone around me clung to my notes.  Eight minutes became five and five minutes became three.  I don't know why I was so calm, but I figured I'd prayed for a calm daughter, one that would cling to me unlike her independent and strong willed siblings who I encouraged to speak their minds and explore their surroundings.  I remember asking God to please make this baby want to hang on to my skirt and cry for me when I leave for work.  I even prayed you would have trouble getting out of diapers and giving up your bottle.  

At two minutes I sent a note to the Commissioner.  I am in labor.  May I be excused? To which my colleagues promptly slid their chairs back so I could make my way out of the room.  I drove home, belly bumping the steering wheel, tensing then relaxing as I planned what the next few hours would be like.  You were not calm, and probably never meant to be that way.  You were in a hurry, scooting yourself into my life with the same vivacity you have now.  I walked into my room and packed my bags, ready to take a shower.  I phoned my secretary, standing in the middle of my bedroom and made out two sentences, "I'm in labor, I'm getting ready to . . ." when my water broke! 

Having done this three times before, I soon lost all composure and started to realize that in a matter of minutes I would be in excruciating pain.  Nix the shower, I grabbed the most absorbent thing I could find, Peyton's Pull Ups and put on the the loosest outfit within arm's reach.  I remember Peyton watching me, "Pull Ups are for babies, not mommies!" she scolded.  

The normal eight hour labor I anticipated took about 30 minutes with you, little girl.  I remember the mid-wife telling me, as the epidural needle hung from my spine, that I there was no time for the medicine to kick in, I needed to lay back and push.  You came into the world demanding a dramatic entrance, and that you got.  

Seven years have gone by and I've watched you with amazement.  You are none of the things I prayed for, and everything you were destined to be.  Last night when you said, "I wish I could be a Scientist, then I would make a machine to rewind my day back to my birthday party"  I wished it could happen too, so that when time flies like it does now, I could rewind my day back to the first day I met you.

Love, 

Mommy

Who needs paper and pencils when you live on one great big beautiful canvas!

Because Everything's My Fault :)

Sommer Kalani

I'm ready to go to the party now!

Sommer, we're not going to a party.

But, you said we were going to grandma's.

We are, but to just to visit.

So....

you made me do all this for nothing!!???

Snazzy, creepy, cutesy

I've finally learned how to put a background on my blog! It'll take some time to fashion one that's uniquely me, but in the meantime I'm liking this one a lot. Thanks, Dave for sharing. I asked someone a while back, but I guess it was some big secret. Oh well, I guess he didn't know Harry Wong.

Speaking of Harry Wong, I'm going to see him live real soon! (insert crazy screaming and jumping up and down here)
I hope I don't go all Sanjaya on Wong. Yep, that would be a little bit awkward and embarrassing. **************
Sommer says, while driving into Kobler, "Tontonville!" LOL, almost but not quite baby.

This is my blog

Lately I've been feeling unmotivated to blog. I had a chat conversation months ago with Mona, and we talked about how difficult it was for a friend of hers to be candid after a certain incident in her life. I didn't really feel the same way at the time, I felt it was pretty easy to write freely, not worrying about how others would take it, knowing what I wrote were my feelings and that what others perceived could only affect me if I let it.

Lately though, I've worried a lot about what to say, what to share and how to say it. I haven't closed this blog to invitation only because it has always been a safe haven. I know for sure, there are people who come by and scoff or just come by to check up and that is starting to bother me. Why? I'm not entirely sure, but maybe because for the first time in my life I'm really happy and I don't want that tainted. Tainted how? I don't know entirely, but it's a weird feeling I just get.

I find myself censoring my post, deleting it, rewriting it, forgetting about it, all because I'm afraid. Gee, that's not been me for a long time. I know there are shreds of fear that come from places in my past that don't belong here anymore, but they emerge every once in a while and disturb the peace. They start to make me feel like I'm not good, smart, pretty or valuable enough. It's an old habit that comes from years of neglect and emotional abuse, there I said it. It doesn't belong anywhere...not anymore.

So, I thought I'd write without editing today, so that I start the process again without hesitation and without the threat of things that exist merely in my mind. I force myself to write it out until it's bled all out of me, until I can no longer feel the hovering of eyes logged on to catch a glimmer of something to mock. It feels nice, comfortable, safe. Whew. A relief.

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Sommer turned 5 yesterday. She is incredible, has this amazing vocabulary and knack for saying the funniest things. Before I forget, here are some of the most recent Sommisms.

At the video store
Sommer: Miss, do you have Cinderella?
Saleslady: No, I'm sorry that's out.
Sommer: (with hand on forehead) No Cinderella? I need to go to the nuthouse!

When Poca had puppies under my car last week:
Sommer: Look Wayne, look! Poca is giving birthmark! I've never seen a dog give birthmark!

YESSSS! I'm finally 5!

Sommer Kalani Reyes
You make my heart soar!
Happy Birthday my sweetie pie, fabulous five little girly girl!!

Business Call

I don't know, I'm gonna have to crunch the numbers.
Look, I'll have my people call your people.

Sommer considers the male to female ratio

Sommer, in the car, on the way home from a family gathering:
"Three girls"
"One woman"
"Two boys"

"I'm not comfortable with this"

Sommer's Song

Hope manages to catch the cutest candid video of Sommer. Here she is belting out a tune while making herself pretty-ful. I just love this kid!

You got pranked

The only reason I knew Wayne was back from his golf game was when his laughing woke me from my nap. It appears my two sweet little girls have a sense of humor. They put a warning sign by my pillow while I slept. They're smart little girls who know how to pull off a funny prank. But, they're still no match for their mommy. When they took their naps I took out a green crayon, edited their sign and viola!

Sommer Kisses

forget that she left her toys all over the bedroom floor...again
forget that she dipped her fingers in the peanut butter...and left the cap off
forget that she loves to play with my earrings...and loses them
her kisses are free, sweet, unselfish and ...
totally indiscriminate

Rocky (Road) is an ice cream not a state of mind

It started out as an ice-cream sundae and ended up as edible finger paint. Bobby's ran out of nuts and whipped cream, so they marked down the price and handed the goodies over to Sommer. I wish I knew what was going through that mind of hers. If I were to guess it would probably be something like, "This would look magnificent on that wall over there." Ai si' Sommer.

Peyton is a second grader now. So far, she's gotten 7 "wow" slips in Mr. Buniag's class and no "oops" slips. She's an overachiever with a sense of style and lots of attitude. If I could start all over again I'd be just like Peyton at 7 years old. Who says kids can't be their parents' heroes?
I love stress free nights. I love being able to make spontaneous decisions like forgetting the fact we just had dinner and that it's almost bedtime and we're really tired and just jumping in the car to grab some ice cream for the heck of it.

Where's all the rum for the tiramisu!

They say it's not wise to do your grocery shopping on an empty stomach. The same concept applies to planning your menu too close to the pantry.
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Sniper Alert!

The most effective way to convince her to brush her teeth is to tell her there are cavity creeps hiding in her mouth. Therefore, each time Sommer picks up a toothbrush, it is a reconnaissance mission.

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No, I didn't forget about de-lurking. No, no one has sent me a banner. Yes, I did make one. Yes, I am stupid, if not persistent. We are de-lurking CNMI (and CNMIers). Come January 14 - 18, please leave a comment on blogs you visit. In Chamorro terms, "don't lurk at me brat!".
What you do: post this banner on your blog and remind everyone to leave a comment before exiting. Have fun de-lurking!

Alex, do like this!

Bruce says Sommer could maybe teach Alex some manners, to which I try as hard as possible to contain my guffaw.  Although we have managed to get her to say please and thank you on occasion, Sommer is no Miss Manners.  Lovely and sweet, with a ready kiss for everyone and very sticky-warm-yummy hugs, Sommer is also a force to be reckoned with.  

The guests at our new year's party got a taste of Sommer's great stubborness last week.  It took several tries and a few clumps of food spit onto the patio floor before she conceded to eat (which means chew and swallow) a few bites of food that night.  I want dessert!  I hate rice!  I was exhausted, but did not give way, even when she announced in front of family and friends, Aw mom, I don't love you!  So Bruce, it will be an interesting play date.  If Alex is anything like Sommer, they'll be scoping one another out like The Matrix for a few minutes and then we'll see. 

Sunday Morning in Papago

In Gomez-speak "Tony, would you please wash the car for me?" also loosely translates into "Sommer, put on your bathing suit and play in the mud."

So my husband says to me, "My dad really enjoys reading your blog" and immediately I'm making a mental list of all the slightly embarrassing posts I've written. Really dad, I've never encouraged Sommer to eat her boogers, it was clearly a one time thing. And that time Tony got hit at the Paintball tournament? The doctor assured us that he'll eventually lose that third nipple. In all truthfulness, my father in law is an awesome man with a great sense of humor, so I'm glad he gets a chance to see what's happening on our side of the equator. Welcome to the blog dad! You can visit Tony, Hope's and the family blogs too. Just click on their names or any of the words in bold and it will take you straight to other stories and blogs.

Bree wrote about the scandalous Education Day pay last Wednesday and instead of commenting, I thought I'd put my two cents in. Several staff, including myself received less than we were expecting. The underpayment ranged from $20 to $240. I checked with payroll on Friday and found out that the Chapter 7 deductions came from the local government (Finance Dept). Usually PSS will get a notice that explains any discrepancy on pay, but they didn't see this one coming. Since it was Thanksgiving on the mainland, they didn't want to call the Finance Officer, but said that on Monday I'd get some news to share with my staff. My opinion? It wasn't a mistake, but rather a sneaky way for the government to find an extra funding cushion. Tell everyone there was a computer error, and that they'll get their Chapter 7 overpayment back, but in the meantime their using that money to pay for something else. It's just a theory based on my mistrust of government practices, especially with our hard earned taxpayer dollars. Hopefully I'm wrong and there really is no mismanagement.

Oh yeah? Well, you're a...

Why are some people so devoid of social grace and human kindness? I was on my way home after a full day on the job, squeezing in a work out, and attending a PTA meeting. I just stopped by the market to pick up some groceries when I met an OLDER woman I know. So as not to disturb either of our late night shopping errands, I discreetly tapped her and said a quick hello, inquired about the family and smiled. She motioned for me to come closer and nudged me a bit before saying, "It must be the stress, that's why you gaining weight ha?"

"Mona's been in this situation recently" I think, "What did she do again?" Awkward and embarrased, I just nodded and agreed, "darn!" I then proceeded to concoct various snotty replies in my head while she passed me up in the cereal aisle.

What I really wanted to say went something like:

"At least it's not so bad that I have to cake on five inches of make up to look like Happy the Clown"
"Your 99 cent mood lipstick is turning purple, you saggy old witch"
"We're always trying to improve ourselves aren't we? Me and my weight, you and your personality. By the way, good luck with that one"
"Stress does have a way of adding on pounds. Wrinkles too, like the ones under that mismatched shade of cheap foundation you wear"

I didn't say any of these things even though I am admittedly witty at times and can throw out some good insults. Instead, I decided that she, like in Deece's last post, was dumping some garbage she picked up during the day and I should just let rudeness pass.

Pass gas...you old fart!
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In happier news, he didn't have to, but Angelo got me some really yummy coffee from Vietnam. He dropped a bag off and said hello too. Vietnamese coffee smells and tastes like heaven. It's still in my office, its scent is wafting through the halls. Thanks Angelo, you coffee angel:)
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Sommer's newest phrase for everything: "What in the poo-poo sauce?"

I love lello

I defied my better judgment and what little I know about speech development, mainly that children will mispronounce common letters and that until the age of four, this is perfectly normal. I never corrected my other childrens' speech because I wholeheartedly believed they would correct themselves sooner or later. Plus, they were so cute.

Peyton at three: Somebody, roll down the window, there's too much ay-yo!
Me: Too much what Peyton?
Pey: Ay-yo! Its hitting my face.
Me: Ay...yo? What's hitting your face, ay-yo!
Pey: AY-YO! The ay-yo is in my face, are you deaf?!

Sommer today: I climbed up all by myself mommy, I used the lello stool.
Me: Yes I see. That is a nice ye-llow stool.
Sommer: I'm a big girl.
Me: Sommy, say yell
Sommer: yell
Me: Say scream, shout, yell
Sommer: Scream, shout, yell
Me: Yellow
Sommer: Lello
Me: Don't yell!
Sommer: Don't yell!
Me: That's yellow!
Sommer: That's lello!
Me: Scream, shout..
Sommer: Scream, shout..
Me: Yellow!
Sommer: Lello!

Oh, what the heck. Its a nice lello stool we have in our bathroom:)

Wide open spaces

Nope, you can't box her in

The girl needs wide open spaces
Room to take big steps

Zinfandel Musings on a Sunday Night

I did a Google search for "debatably regular moms". Guess what? Dang right, I'm #1 yo! Oh wait, that's probably not something to brag about...
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Porky's is non-smoking on Wednesdays. I wonder if Bruce will start promoting it as "Smokeless Pork Wednesday"
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Me: Whatcha doing Sommer?
Sommy: Nossing.
Me: Did I tell you how much I love you today?
Sommy: I ludge you too mommy.
*****
Just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns. I loved it so much I bawled at the end. I think I'll read Kite Runner although I almost never read the same author twice. There's always a first.
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Tony Jr. is going to be 15 this week. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on him. I waited for what seemed forever to hold him in my arms, and when he finally arrived I felt like I had to. Like all the misgivings and misfortune in my life were somehow erased. I had a son. Among my children, he and I have the most in common, although he doesn't look a thing like me. It still catches me off guard how much he's grown. Could I have really raised this young man? What did I do to deserve these precious years as his mother? Lord, I am so humbled that you've entrusted me with his life for even a short while. So humbled and so grateful.

Happy Birthday Sommer

Sommer was born in a hurry. I went from 2 to 10 centimeters in 45 minutes, the needle for my epi was still in my back when she was ready to greet the world. At 3 years old she is a firecracker and a joy. Sommer, you are our sunshine!

Kids Eat the Darndest Things! (Oh, don't look so innocent)

Tonight Sommer exclaimed with glee that she had eaten her boogers. Ordinarily I would rush my child to the sink and wash her mouth out. Being completely exhausted and knowing from experience that boogers do not cause intestinal damage to babies, I let it go.

Sommy: Mom, I ate boogers!
Mommy: Whose boogers?
Sommy: I ate my boogers :)
Mommy: Where they good?
Sommy: Yes, they taste like cheese.

Well, that's one thing I can cross off my grocery list!