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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Oh yeah? Well, you're a...

Why are some people so devoid of social grace and human kindness? I was on my way home after a full day on the job, squeezing in a work out, and attending a PTA meeting. I just stopped by the market to pick up some groceries when I met an OLDER woman I know. So as not to disturb either of our late night shopping errands, I discreetly tapped her and said a quick hello, inquired about the family and smiled. She motioned for me to come closer and nudged me a bit before saying, "It must be the stress, that's why you gaining weight ha?"

"Mona's been in this situation recently" I think, "What did she do again?" Awkward and embarrased, I just nodded and agreed, "darn!" I then proceeded to concoct various snotty replies in my head while she passed me up in the cereal aisle.

What I really wanted to say went something like:

"At least it's not so bad that I have to cake on five inches of make up to look like Happy the Clown"
"Your 99 cent mood lipstick is turning purple, you saggy old witch"
"We're always trying to improve ourselves aren't we? Me and my weight, you and your personality. By the way, good luck with that one"
"Stress does have a way of adding on pounds. Wrinkles too, like the ones under that mismatched shade of cheap foundation you wear"

I didn't say any of these things even though I am admittedly witty at times and can throw out some good insults. Instead, I decided that she, like in Deece's last post, was dumping some garbage she picked up during the day and I should just let rudeness pass.

Pass gas...you old fart!
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In happier news, he didn't have to, but Angelo got me some really yummy coffee from Vietnam. He dropped a bag off and said hello too. Vietnamese coffee smells and tastes like heaven. It's still in my office, its scent is wafting through the halls. Thanks Angelo, you coffee angel:)
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Sommer's newest phrase for everything: "What in the poo-poo sauce?"

12 comments:

tony said...

Don't worry Bon, there are plenty of insecure people out there that are self-sufficient in their own insufficiency...................

hello insomnia said...

I hear you on this. Why do people have to talk about my weight TO MY FACE? Couldn't they talk behind my back like normal people?

Jeff said...

That stuff was very common and very socially acceptable in Korea. They are brutal on even slightly overweight people. I had one co-worker who was very heavy who quit in tears after like six weeks. Unlike you, I rarely held back my retort.

Boni said...

Tony:Seriously, it was just draining, especially since I've been working out for nearly two months now. I was sooo mad.

Mona: I know! That's what I do to her!

Jeff: Brutal is the word here, I think she's just a mean hag.

Marianas Eye said...

Nice list. You're very funny, Boni.

How about, "Back off. I'm Saipan's Sexiest Female Blogger."

d

Steve Nguyen said...

Boni: I love this comment, "We're always trying to improve ourselves aren't we? Me and my weight, you and your personality. By the way, good luck with that one."

Some people feel like they need to be crule and put others down to make themselves feel better. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

Don't sweat it. You look good. She probably doesn't

Alexander has picked up the phrase "naked butt butt" from somewhere and delights in trying to concoct sentences into which he can insert this lovely piece of verbiage.

Boni said...

Naked butt butt? What in the poo-poo sauce? I see a three year old theme here. Alex and Som are potty mouths, albeit totally adorable ones and they will surely grow out of it. In the meantime, we need to be careful where we take them.

Thanks for the support guys! Just because she was rude doesn't mean I haven't got things to work on,but I'm gonna feel good about myself all the weigh to the scale!!

Candy said...

I googled Saipan and came across your blog. Your sense of humor about had me falling out of my chair.

I will be visiting Saipan with my husband in January. It will kind of be our 2nd honeymoon. I'd like to find an "off the beaten path" place for us to stay; something more like a bed and breakfast or cottage on the beach than a big, busy resort. Can you help me?

scribbler said...

Geez... people stink.

Boni said...

HI Candy! I am so glad you dropped by the blog and that you are coming to Saipan, yay! Please give me your email and I will send you some information on things to expect and places to go:) ALL CNMI bloggers out there: please help me out with Candy and her hubby, there's sooo much beauty here I'm sure we can offer some awesome experiences.

Marianas Eye said...

Do we have any bed and breakfasts here? Here's a chance to start one. Anyone have a bed and some breakfast to offer Candy and her hubby? Where's Walt?

And Candy, you're on Saipan. Everything is off the beaten path! Way off.

David