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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Does my ring burn your finger?

Everyone I know is either having a baby or getting married. I never had the traditional proposal, it was more like "let's get married", so I'm at a loss for good advice on that subject. Rings? I had three sets. The first one my aunt lent me when I got married, then an upgrade a few years later, and finally a new set that was supposed to symbolize ten years of commitment. Even then I initiated the buy, selected and purchased them on my good credit, so I'm partial to being part of the process. If this is a little Carrie Bradshaw-ish, please forgive me. Wayne and I (well, Wayne through default) have been on a Sex and the City DVD marathon. Lately my tone has been slightly influenced by it and I make no apologies (high fives from Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte!) The subject of proposals and rings has come up more than once this week, sparking some very interesting perspectives. My friends have very differing opinions. Names will be altered to protect the innocent.

Every little girl dreams of the day a man gets on one knee holding that little box with the perfect ring in it, but when it comes to engagement rings have we given in to the hype of the wedding industry? Are the four C's really more important than love?

I had lunch with Holden who is planning to purchase the perfect ring for his unsuspecting girlfriend. He's going to Tiffany & Co. on his own. He believes that her ring should be something that comes from his heart and that whatever it is, she should cherish it because he sought it out especially for her. He's a hopeless romantic in the best sense of the word and I know he'll obsess about it so much it will be just gorgeous. I think what matters is that he loves her so much he is actually making every effort to find the perfect ring that exudes that love.


Celeste just got her wedding set upgraded. Her husband surprised her with it during a recent road trip. It is stunning, to be sure. She chose her ring with her then Fiancé. She believes that a wedding ring should be something tailored to a woman's taste and that it should be something that reflects her style. It should also be something so beautiful to her that each time she puts it on, she can't take her eyes off of it.

We sat a recent bride Angelique, who would prefer to design her own set rather than buy one from a retailer. To men, it would be the equivalent choice between getting a brand new Corvette or building the car of your dreams with everything you need at your disposal. I'm not really the one to be qualifying this issue, but I do think they are all correct. Wherever it comes from and whatever it looks like, a wedding ring should symbolize your love. If it is carefully chosen with the woman in mind, her preferences, her style, her unique personality then it will be treasured. I know a couple who decided they wanted faux turtle shell wedding bands and they were gorgeous. My friend Piper has a diamond so huge it blinds me. The important thing is that they are a refection of love. I have a good 16 years of experience over all these guys, so my opinions have been tempered by time and life. The only thing that really matters to me is that the man should love the woman and the woman the man. The search for the ring should be something both partners will remember, symbolic of the efforts they make to build a life together. There are no mistakes in buying a ring that I can think of except never take it off after and for Pete's sake don't get a tattoo ring unless your word is as good as the ink on your finger. Good luck Holden, here are some great tips from Blue Nile for your hunt. Congratulations Angelique. Celeste, your ring sparkles so does your future.

9 comments:

bigsoxfan said...

Thanks for the word on the Liberty Department store. Perhaps, sister misread the sign or went to the new tan building.

Allright, so maybe I read too much into this ring post, but the tenor of your writing these days sounds fairly upbeat. Here's a little music for the you, see if it matches your mood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88v2sZFhwlA

Boni said...

Thanks! Who knew life would be so good to me? With a man like Wayne I'd settle for a blade of grass wrapped around my finger.

Anonymous said...

Ok so am I reading to much into this, if not, please please don't take this the wrong way, but make sure you have the whole hearted commitment that you deserve. I've been with you for a long time and I don't want to see you hurt again and again. I hinted to a turtle one day that if anything like this was to happen, to please please make sure that the heart and soul is where it is. NO MORE PAIN, LOTS OF HAPPINESS. I love you and miss you lots SISTER!!!

Boni said...

You are reading way too much into this post my sister. I know you of all people witnessed the pain and don't want me to repeat it, sorry if I startled you. I was talking about other people's rings. In regards to my own? Remember how I never thought I'd ever be loved? I was wrong. Here's me putting myself out there in the blosphere, but if I didn't it would be grossly uncharacteristic of me. I am a naive and sometimes wreckless open book and I know you love me for it.

Anonymous said...

Ok just as long as you know that I'm not trying to stop you from happiness, I'm looking out for you like I promised I would do! Be happy and enjoy the comfort that you have now! This has been long overdue for you. Thanks Wayne for making my sister happy again!

Road-Block Blogger said...

Thank you! She deserves to be happy, deserves to live a life with love and no more pain and suffering. I will do what it takes to make this happen.

Anonymous said...

And THANK YOU AGAIN! I've been trying to have her realize that. I hope that she has.

The Beachcomber said...

Another thing to consider is how guilt free these rings are: are they of "conflict diamonds" from African communities that fund civil wars and displaces people, or is the gold of destructive mining processes that destroy the earth and poisons the water. This is probably one of the last things that we consider when admiring jewelry, but consider the company Brilliant Earth. Conflict-free diamonds, recyled gold, and community support are a girl's best friend.

Boni said...

So glad you mentioned that. It's the first thing that I think of actually. One should never begin a new life with someone's blood on their hands. I have a couple of sites for guilt free diamonds. Maybe when the time is right, I'll do another post. Thanks.