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Monday, November 5, 2007

Peter


This is my little brother Peter with his son Irie, my Sommy and our sister Yvette's Savannah. This picture brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me of an old black and white picture, the only picture I have of my father, myself and another sibling many years ago. In that photo, like this one, my dad was a single father who said goodbye to a son and took on the challenge of raising a daughter alone. I am watching my brother come to terms with being a single parent and learning to appreciate what my dad must have gone through. I don't know what it would have been like if I weren't raised by my father, but I have always felt like it was the best thing for me.

Peter is just beginning his journey, and has battle scars to mark the chapters in his life before Irie. I told him I loved him before he left this Sunday. I forgot to tell him that I am proud of him, and that like his namesake, he is a rock. I meant to reassure him that when Irie becomes a man, he will look back at this picture, like I did mine, and remember not what was missing, but what how lucky he was and is. For all the things you felt you failed to do Pete, there will be a million things your son considers you a hero for. With that finally said, charge on to life!
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That is a peculiar segue way into my birthday greeting for my father.
Hey pops,

You done good. I know it wasn't easy and there were times you probably doubted if you could survive it, but you were the best mom any dad could ever be. It's true I had to learn some girl stuff on my own, but you taught me invaluable lessons that cannot compare to things like selecting the perfect shade of eyeshadow.

You showed me that there is a love stronger than emptiness and a bond that doesn't care about circumstance. Because of you I know that I can tell my children "you can do it", "there is no one more important than you" and "I believe in you" without having to use words; with only a look. It must have been hard dad, it probably took all your strength to hold on to me, but I'm so glad you did. Happy birthday. And no, you don't love me more.

Remember, I've loved you all my life.




7 comments:

Tamara said...

Great post! Your very lucky to still have your pops around..I lost my dad 12 years ago and still miss him dearly. Enjoy and Cherish every moment!

Boni said...

Thanks Tami.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

You know, Boni, you have a way of expressing your real feelings about yourself, life and it's pains and joys without the self pity or martyr underlayment so common with most people trying to express their inner selves. You have a wonderful talent.

One more thing. You are really a wonderful person deep down. PSS and those kids over there at GES have got hold of a good thing.

I don't care how long it takes to load your blog. I will always come over here to read what you have to say.
BB

Boni said...

Don't know whether to blush or vehemently deny that I am as wonderful a person as you say so. Think I'll just say thank you:)

Boni said...

say. not say so. but who cares? least i'm not drinking drunk.

Saipan Writer said...

I love the family photo with your brother and the kids. Black and white has a way of revealing feeling and mood that color photography cannot match. (Not that I would want all photos to be b&w!)

Life can be bittersweet. And then just sweet. Nice post.

Saipan Writer said...

P.S. I agree with Bruce about your writing.

I think you should join Voices of the Marianas. They're seeking monologues right now for their next production. You've got important things to say, can write them in a way that speaks from the heart, and can be brief about it--all of which would translate well to the stage! Contact Barbara Sher. :-)