Friday, July 18, 2008


I know, it's a little juvenile, but I can't take it anymore. 60% of my paycheck is going to pay for the utility bill. Wait, I meant the fuel surcharge. I didn't even use my oven ONCE! I should've baked some brownies. Damn, I should've baked something at least once. Guess it was meant to happen. Every blogger has their infamous CUC post and this is mine.

You're killing me, CUC. Two power outages a day!? Do you know that I was at the BMV today and waited for hours for the power to turn on so that I could spend five seconds posing for a new license? Do you know that although there was no power for hours there were more employees than flame tree buds on tree outside? How is that saving money when we pay an army of people to take turns saying "come back later... no power"? Do you know that I ended up looking like one of the Charles Manson girls on my new ID, with my brand spanking new name that I was so excited to finally get? Rahhhhhh

It's termite season, and when the power's out it's like Chamorro Band Stand at home, trying to get them out of our shirts, pants and in very special places that termites ought never to be. OK, maybe termite season is not your fault.

I don't read the paper for news anymore, I look for the load shedding schedule. Everything revolves around the load shedding schedule. Sometimes if I can't find the schedule, or if there isn't one published, I panic. I frantically rush to the shower before the power goes out and the water pressure subsides. Quick everyone! Let's all sit by the one light that's on in the house and bask in each other's love before the power goes out and we turn into reverse gremlins. "Don't get them wet and don't turn on the power until they're drenched in sweat!"

I almost baked lasagña the other week, but...
a) I was afraid the power might go out and we'd end up eating what I would pass off as spaghetti with really big noodles!
b) for once, it might actually be cheaper to order it from a fancy restaurant, complete with garlic toast and tiramisu for dessert.
c) I would rather spend the money to send my kids to college one of these days.

Whew. There's more, lots more where that came from but i'm afraid the power's going out. Ironic thing about all this, and this isn't just because Ed is my oldest buddy alive, but he has been honestly trying to make enough of a stink that our government does something about this travesty and he gets criticized for it. Geez...I say, keep going Ed, more and more people will get brave enough to speak up, it just takes one person smart enough to know what to fight for and foolish enough to try. Oh crap! That was a fluctuation....oh crap...sayonara folks. That was my C.U.C. post.....


Tag on Funding Sources with Solutions said...

people can scream as much as they want, however, the only thing that is going to solve are problems is money. and at this point the government has none. you might say they have 6million to blow in contracts, however, 6 million is not much at all to meet the needs that we face. we need money to put a system in place (that would range easily in the amount of 20million) and then we need funding to maintain the system. many scream and shout for solutions, however, very few know where the money is for such solutions is going to come from... we can say nuclear, solar and windpower, but to put such systems in place we need money. big money. nothing are government has the capability of paying at this time. so again, for those who shout out solutions without earmarking the source of funding (including the legislature) the solutions are not solutions. i hope all meetings discussing CUC focus on where the funding will come from to fund any ideas derived in the meetings.

Marianas Pride said...

Boni, BRILLIANT! LOL! I'm still laughing! You're brilliant and nuts. And beautiful too! I'm sure niao will back me up on that one. ;)

To the above commenter, yes, we can scream all we want. We can even run around in our underwear (which is what I do because taya power so it is berry hotttt!), but no matter what, our cries fall on deaf ears.

I can assure you "tag on funding sources with solutions," that even if the federal government gave the CNMI MORE federal dollars, this administration would find a way to blow it on biba koruption tactics like more DCM and CISCO contracts that go to the primo buddy Ol Boys Network system that has plagued this island for decades. Finding money is not the problem sir! The problem is the misspending and the mismanagement of money and the raping of our CNMI coffers without vaseline!

When will it stop? When the CNMI doesn't have a nickel left in its bank. Even that last nickel will be fought over.

Boni, I no longer look at the load shedding schedule. All I do is take really quick showers. That's why sometimes when you talk to me, I can't really hear you because I didn't clean out the soap in my ears.

Anyway, I loved your post! C.U. SUCK! LOL!

Take care!!! ;)

bigsoxfan said...

Fair to say, you won't be posting your liscense picture?

Boni said...

Not a chance. Unless you want to start a meme. Post yours first with the funniest story. Winner gets some spam!

KAP said...

I've adjusted to the scheduled outages, they're just an annoyance by now. Every time they're unscheduled I wonder if the whole system has finally collapsed.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

Why bother to read the published schedules? You know there is a 50/50 chance that it will occur on or around that time anyway. You may bet your bottom...err bottom on the fact that you will also experience one or more other unscheduled outages as well.

I agree with Ken, most of expect one of these days the power will blink a few times, switch out and just not come back on for days or weeks.

I also agree with the nony above. Without the funding, we can shout and rant all we want, to no avail.

Marching: waste of time. Suing ourselves: Bigger waste of time, because if we win, we lose.

Popular petition to force the gov't to divest itself completely of CUC and allow a competent private firm to come in and do what is necessary to get the power on reliably: go for it, sign me up.

Marianas Pride said...

Let's get the signatures people! A popular initiative to sell CUC on e-bay. Starting bid is $1.

Anything is better than what we have now. We need someone to assess the true value and earning potential of CUC before we put a price on it...

Bruce A. Bateman said...

There has got to be a Utility Appraiser out there somewhere, Ed.

Ebay is a great idea....we would probably get some international exposure from the stunt. A la that guy in Oz who 'sold his life'.

I'll carry a petition for this one.