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Sunday, May 10, 2009

My kids, my moms

The greatest and scariest day of my entire life was when I found out I was pregnant with my son. It might sound a little peculiar, but it was the moment I finally felt useful. Another life depended on mine and everything I did or didn't do had enormous consequence. My political, mental, social, individual frames of thought were suddenly under strict review. For the first time in my life, I cared who became President, I worried about the driver in front and behind me on the freeway; for the first time in my life, tomorrow didn't affect just me. My son was the first and greatest gift, my greatest contribution to this world. He was always my little boy, my greatest ally and I'm proud to have been a small part of the man he is becoming. My son has seen me through many challenges in my life, he's taken the keys from me and shown me that I am stronger than I think I am.

Since then, Hope came screaming into my world with her fierce and unwavering beauty. She was always braver than me which gave me the courage to push myself. She is most like me in her questioning of life and the world around her, always seeking to understand and never willing to settle for less. I hate to admit sometimes that I wish I'd taught her to be a little more tolerant of things, a lesson I am learning through time and experience. Hope, my lioness.

Oh my Peyton Ha'ani, the professor of the bunch. She is smart as a whip and wise in her youth. Peyton was a born leader. She is fair and honest and seeks approval and love from everyone she meets. In 20 years she will be a formidable force, a diplomat who rules with an iron fist and a heart of gold. For now, she's busy running the affairs of her little sister and reporting on household abuses.

Ai my Sommer, my little firecracker of a girl. Sommer is 4 and has no social filter yet so whatever's on her mind is quickly dispersed verbally. There are many times in life that I wish I had her tenacity to tell it like it is. She is a lover of plants and animals, mud and dirt, and leaps tall buildings in a single bound!

In the past year, I became a mother to four more wonderful children. The world might call them step children, but having been loved by many mothers myself, I only hope to build our own memories. When Wayne came into my life, Donny, Jay, Nannie and Wade came bustling in with their vivacious personalities, adding flavor to our home. They are a smiley bunch, always ready with a quick joke and loads of never ending energy.

My life is full. My heart is full. So, today I would like to thank my mothers, all of them, for giving me life, giving me love. Because I had so many mommies, the only thing I ever wanted to be was one of them.

Thank you mom Lucy, my ready-made-mom, the one who taught me that love had no barriers, the one who showed me that blood is not thicker than love. My mother Sue who gave me life and reminds me often that I need to dance and laugh. My mom Glenna, who never wavers in her support and most especially her presence in my life; the one who opened her life unselfishly to ours. My momma Doll who had the hardest job of mothering me when I refused to be mothered, the one who loved me during my unlovable teenage years, the one who gave of herself with no expectation in return. +Nang, who raised ten kids of her own, and then me. Because of you, I am not a perfect, but I am the one thing I always wanted to be, a mom.

5 comments:

Rick said...

Wow Boni, this was amazing and very well written. What a full life you have, and have lived! Best of luck to you and your big family in the coming years, and stay strong!

Road-Block Blogger said...

That's really beautiful nen!

bigsoxfan said...

After a well deserved absence, you have written the tale of your heart once again. I don't know if I should agree your writing is the best or your heart. We'll have to take a poll.

Deece said...

Beautiful Bon! And that is exactly what it's like when you bring your first child into the world. Haven't chatted in a while. I hope all is well.

CNMI Blogger said...

I really enjoyed this, Bon. With a family like this, I know you had a great Mother's Day!