A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. ~Andre Maurois
I have a great marriage. I'm so amazed how even saying that makes me smile. I remember not being able to even think that; how saying it out loud left me empty, like an imposter with a thousand lie detector wires springing from my body. So, when Wayne said he wanted to go to ME I thought two things. One: "Where in the world did this man come from?" And, two: "Should we do this?" The first time I went to ME I was trying desperately to glue something back together that was never fastened properly to begin with. I foolishly wondered if doing this again would jinx an already beautiful relationship, but as I looked into my husband's eyes I knew I wanted the same thing.
We set our plans out carefully. I asked again and again, "Do we have a plan B?" , and he reassured me again and again that we'd thought of everything. Still, I had a gnawing feeling that something bad was coming our way. As the days passed, my worry diminished and I was beginning to look forward to a weekend alone with my lover, my friend, my husband. On Friday, hours before we were to leave, the plans started to crumble. We'd been sabotaged, predictably, I thought. As I prepared to concede, Wayne reminded me how eagerly we waited for this weekend together and the importance of it all. We made our way excitedly, but each visibly worried about children and their broken hearts. It was hard to listen to the disappointment, but we were parents and not opposed to gathering 8 or 7 children. We knew deep inside that this request could not be expected from anyone else without leaving us preoccupied with worry.
At the site, my heart beat loudly in my chest, like the raindrops on a tin roof. I could feel the hard lump of suspense well in my throat and hear the sound of voices getting louder, like the roar of waves on a windy beach. Up until this very moment I had been focusing on everything that didn't matter. I returned the grip of my husband's hand on mine, looked into his eyes, watched his smile creep all over him, and miraculously felt everything disappear as we walked hand in hand. There were angels everywhere and it was overwhelming.
I recall looking at Wayne every now and then, watching for signs of fatigue because of the intensity of what we were experiencing. Our muscles ached, our eyes became weary, but we pressed on, driven from within. At the end of it all were discoveries about one another, ourselves and our spirituality.
Two days later, the marriage I thought could not get any better did and the man I knew I loved for so many reasons also became my hero. The God who promised never to leave me was not only there all along, but found His way into the most intimate parts of our relationship.