Thursday, September 17, 2009

Little girls, big decisions

Ever done a Google image search for HPV? I have. What you see will astonish you if you've got the stomach to get past more than one page. Why on earth would I do such a thing? Because it's been on my mind for about a year. In 2007 I wrote a post about the then new HPV Vaccine that was going to be administered to high school girls island-wide. It was an ambitious campaign like nothing we'd ever seen before and it was spearheaded by the Department of Public Health, with the full support of the community, youth groups and the Public School System.

I had an unusual reaction to all of it, quite opposite of what you'd expect from an educator. I responded with a mother's heart, worrying about the short/long term side effects of the drug, the infringement on parental rights, the lack of longitudinal studies surrounding the drug and the enriching of pharmaceutical companies. It all sounded like a conspiracy, this mass vaccination. I got defensive. The real truth was that I felt a sense of misplaced arrogance towards anyone who dared to challenge my parenting. I truly believed that if I taught my daughters how to be sexually responsible women they would not need to worry about contracting STDs. STDs were for "loose" girls, girls who weren't raised in Christian homes, girls who weren't taught the virtue of virginity, the sanctity of marriage or a sense of self-respect. My girls would grow up to be monogamous and so would their husbands.

On the way to work today I listened to guests from the Centers for Disease Control and thought about some of the fears I had regarding Gardasil and the HPV campaign. I tried to be objective about my own misconceptions and balance them out with the legitimate fears I had. Then today during work, the same guests came to share the news that the CNMI's campaign was so successful the CDC had to visit to see what we'd done. It was shared with us that among the at-risk population (young girls), the CNMI has achieved an 80% success rate for prevention. Those aren't just good statistics, they're downright amazing. Does it mean that our young girls will grow up to be (cervical) cancer free? If it does, then we've extended the years that hundreds of families could spend together. If it does, then we've given future mothers more time to raise their children and play with their grandchildren. If it does, then we've saved our medical institutions millions of dollars in health care/disease intervention and treatment. It means that old women will live longer lives and die natural deaths.
I'm still admittedly skeptical. The findings aren't conclusive, we don't have enough years of data and what the critics out there have to say is pretty scary. I'm weighing the risk between making sure my daughters never get cervical cancer or possibly becoming infertile. I always thought I'd be able to protect my children, and for the most part I can just by talking with them and trusting that they will make good choices. I realize however, that we can't control everything that happens in our lives and the dangers of HPV do not just come from unprotected, promiscuous sex. Humans can have a more devastating effect than any virus on earth. There are people out there who have the ability to convince others that the risk of getting cervical cancer from HPV is lower than that of getting killed in a car wreck. There are people who will sacrifice the lives of others to suit their own selfish desires. Will my girls gaze lovingly into someone's eyes one day and gamble their lives away for a few empty promises? Lastly, am I willing to take that chance?
It's not easy to make these decisions, to put your children in the hands of scientists, no matter how well intentioned they are. Although I've changed my mind about the benefits of the vaccine, I feel the same anxiety I did two years ago. I feel anxiety about every decision I make that affects the welfare of my children because they are irreplaceable.


Deece said...

Wow Bon. What a lovely post. What a decision to make. Of course, after your first few sentences I did a Google image search and it scared me. So then I Googled it. I didn't realize how common HPV is. And it scared me more.

You're a great mother and I'm sure that God will lead you to make the right decision, as I pray he will for me when we get to that point.

Bon said...

Thank you Deece, it is agonizing because I feel like it's almost a life or death decision. Hopefully, by the time you have to make it we'll have enough data to make truly informed choices. Hopefully we'll also have something for boys.

The Beachcomber said...

I actually started reading your blog because of the 1st HPV post you wrote. I am glad that you heard the CDC women speak.

“sexually responsible women they would not need to worry about contracting STDs. STDs were for "loose" girls, girls who weren't raised in Christian homes, girls who weren't taught the virtue of virginity, the sanctity of marriage or a sense of self-respect. My girls would grow up to be monogamous and so would their husbands.” Reminds me of the reality that STDs concerns us all. Numbers show that our very young people comprise half of all STD infections. There needs to be better education and talk about safe sex practices (Abstinence, Being faithful, Condoms) and getting tested for STDs. Also, we need to fight the stigma, shame, prejudice, bias, discrimination, and intolerance to those infected by HIV. We need to stop asking “How did they get it?” and realize that most got infected doing things that most of us have done. Great post, Bon. Thank you.

Saipan Writer said...

I know ov a woman who died of cervical cancer here when her daughter was in middle school. I know of her because her daughter grew up, had a baby, and I adopted that baby.

The woman wasn't a promiscuous woman. Perhaps she got the virus from her husband?

So when I learned I could have a chance to protect my daughter from something that had killed her birth grandmother, I signed up. I think Anna Rose was the first one in Saipan to get the vaccine (from Dr. Ada).

It's not a lack of faith in my parenting skills (although I'll admit there are some weaknesses there!); nor is it a lack of faith in my good daughter.

No matter how well we raise our daughters (and our sons), there is another partner who will be involved. They may choose wisely, or may choose the way we have--with more heart than mind.

For me, the vaccine decision was about the chance to save her from facing the danger of cancer.

I do have a lot of faith in vaccines. I grew up with a generation just a few years older than me who had polio victims among them--people I knew, people who were friends, and friends of friends, and relatives. And I had a vaccine that protected me.

I grew up and, as a kid, had mumps and both kinds of measles. I remember being sick with them. I remember the measles-when I was kept in a dark room day and night because sunlight could make me go blind. I remember the mumps, with my face, neck, head the size of a pumpkin and unbearable pain. And we have vaccines that protect against those now.

So yeah. Maybe I'm predisposed to trusting science and medicine and vaccines.

I'm glad you're giving this decision your attention and considerable intellect.

Good luck.

Bon said...

I admit to being stubborn and naive about it. It wasn't until I actually witnessed one human being convincing another human being that it was ok to have HPV, and that the risks were so small for getting cervical cancer that I realized my daughters might put their lives in the hands of someone they love, not fulling understanding that love doesn't work that way. You don't intentionally put someone's life at stake. That scared me.