About Me Part III

Here's the last installment of my three part post about moi. 

16.  When someone hurts me or thinks badly of me it bothers me for days. I internalize even the slightest rejection, always wondering what I could have done to offend or anger. My worst character flaw is probably pursuing people until I have my questions answered or I've found some resolution to a matter. It's very hard for me to intentionally hurt another person. Unless I believe they just won't be responsive, I'll always seek a truce. On the other hand, once I am convinced that my efforts are fruitless I can pretty much forget someone exists and not give them another thought. It's both a gift and a curse.

17.  I collect white ironstone pitchers and Starbucks travel mugs. I used to have a huge collection of dragons, they were gorgeous, crystal, pewter, resin, ceramic, all colors and sizes. I had to destroy them because hyperspiritual legalistic jerk thought they were a source of evil and made me take a hammer to the entire collection.  I'm still really mad at myself for agreeing to do that.

18. I am not a very chatty or vocal person. I don't believe in expending energy on things of no value to me, my family, loved ones or the work that I do. I can remain silent for long periods of time, but that is no indication of my interest level. If I don't have anything pertinent to say, I won't. I'm not adept at small talk, never learned how to fashion a perfect comeback line and I don't feel the need to engage conversation most of the time. I like being around conversations though, and I'm attracted to chatty people who don't feel uncomfortable being around silent folk like me. I can't stand self-aggrandizing, cocky people with an exxagerated sense of self-worth.
19.  I have a great fear of flying. I am already thinking about what it will be like tomorrow morning when I get on that plane to Rota. While I'm in the air all I can think about is how little steel separates me from the atmosphere. I listen for noises, smells and I have to look out the window all the time, especially during take off and landing. Sometimes I get so scared that on short flights I actually count the seconds from take off the landing. On long flights I only use one earphone so that I can listen for strange engine sounds.

20. I love my job and the people I work with. I've been at my school for 16 school years and have been a teacher's aide, teacher, counselor, vice principal and principal. If I had it to do over again I would have stayed in the classroom. 

21. How I eat my kit kat : I bite the edges off first, starting with the two shortest then the two long ones. Then I eat the top and bottom chocolate edges and finally the wafers, one by one. I eat my Reese's Peanut Butter Cups the same way. I eat carrots from the outside in, biting off chunks of the outside parts until I have the inside root in tact, then I eat that slowly because it's the sweetest part of the carrot.

22.  I want to believe in the goodness of people so badly that sometimes I convince myself of things that are completely ridiculous. If I love you, it can be real easy to make me believe anything, sigh.  Don't lie to me because it tortures me when I realize I've been took. I don't consider myself a good liar, but I think I can be convincing if I really wanted to be. The only problem is that I will no be able to stand it for too long and the truth will come hurling out eventually.

23.  I am not afraid to say I love you. It's always been a very easy thing for me to love people unconditionally and to express my affection. I am a loyal friend, but an honest one who will risk hurting you if it will do some good. Don't ask for my opinion if you are not ready to be introspective because I don't have a talent for sugar coating my words. I expect the same from my real friends.

24.  My favorite colors: deep chocolate and grayish blue. My favorite flower: big fat roses. My favorite dessert: tiramisu. My most frivolous indulgences: a nice purse and watch. My guiltiest pleasure: Rocky Road Ice Cream. My favorite sandwich: a BLT. Beverage of choice: a margarita, frozen. Most loved album of all time: 10,000 Maniacs, In My Tribe. My favorite time of day: dusk.

25.  Even though it takes a lot of time and elbow grease, I thoroughly enjoy making things for people. It makes me happy to see people receive something that I've made with my own hands. A simple basket of goodies or even a lei may take about half an hour to make, and it requires more time to think up a design that satisfies, but it's nothing compared to the few golden seconds of joy when it's given to a friend or loved one who cherishes it.

About me two/too

continued from What About Me
11.  I'm a boring, chicken of a driver. I've been in four car accidents in my life. The first one was with my grandfather's brand new 280Z in high school. He brought it home from the dealer's in the morning and I begged to take it to school until he gave in. So, without a license I drove it the Mt. Carmel parking lot, picked up some girlfriends then while driving across the street to Diego's Mart, I didn't stop to look and got sideswiped in front of all my friends. The most recent was last year on my way home from work. I was nearing the Kagman Mobil station when a truck fishtailed right into my lane. I had two of my daughters with me, but thankfully no one was hurt. Everytime my 16 year son gets behind the wheel I get a little dizzy and I feel like I want to hurl because I'm so scared. This morning before he left for school, he looked out his window and said, "Yes mom, drive slow, put on my seatbelt, stop at red lights, turn the music down...anything else?" Yes son. Be careful, I love you.

12.   I can't do any work if the papers on my desk are not stacked in perfect piles. Everything on my desk has it's own place. When I start to work, it's ok for everything to be askew, but as soon as I'm done or before the next task, things must be rearranged. At meetings, my handouts must be properly stacked and placed in just the right setting. I put the agenda to the left of me and other paperwork in a neat pile on the upper right hand corner. Computer directly in front, drink to the right or left corner only, phones on my right by the pile of paperwork or out of the way. It's ok to have them askew if they are part of the agenda being discussed, but as soon as we're done, they need to be stacked again.
13.  Sometimes I feel bad that I'm not so warm and fuzzy. I don't cry at sappy chic flicks. Yes, that was me giggling in the theater as Mr. Right walked away in the rain forever, while Ms. Right stood drenched, deciding if she should tell him how much she really does love him or spare him a life of agony watching her waste away from some terminal disease. I like to look at the needle piercing my skin when I'm getting shots. I'm the family mid-wife because I don't get weirded out by pain and screaming. "Here comes another BIG contraction, it's gonna hurt like heck honey, but I know you can do it. Now lift those knees and P-U-S-H!!" Don't get me wrong, I feel all the mushy emotions, but for some reason my tear ducts don't always reciprocate.
14. (How weird is it that I wrote this a year ago on Valentine's Day?) Since it is Valentine's Day, today's random thing is about sappy stuff. The first song I ever slow danced to was "Making love out of nothing at all" by Air Supply. I had my first boyfriend in the 8th grade and my first serious relationship in the 11th grade. The first time I got dumped my father put me on his lap and told me to go to school the next day and pretend like nothing happened, "Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he hurt you" he said.  After that I never dated anyone twice.  I am a one man woman and I got a second chance at forever. 
15.  I never fail to overextend myself even though I have a to-do list as long as my arm and regularly fill out a pretty detailed calendar. This week I have professional development, a meeting to complete a federal report, a court hearing, a child's birthday, a dinner to host, three off island trips and a concert to plan. I stay pretty calm throughout schedules like this until something unexpected happens and I've left with no room for adjustment. I suppose I should learn to plan better. Perhaps if I pencil in "mishap" and "calamity" I'll avoid them.